Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
