i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
