I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
