Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Watching her eat just hurts me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
