i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think my moral compass just broke
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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