sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
