I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just gargled with NyQuil
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
