if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
