is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
