i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need to calm my uterus...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize