I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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