Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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