I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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