I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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