I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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