I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize