I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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