Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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