is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
