I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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