But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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