Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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