sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
