we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
