I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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