im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
