Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize