Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
