so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
