What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
