its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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