i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
