There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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