if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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