i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
