sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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