i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
