so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
