Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
