yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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