If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
