Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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