Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
