she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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