how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
