With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
