he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
