i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
