beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
