a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
