We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want nice things and good sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
