If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The ass gains better be worth it
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