Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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