I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
