Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
please come you make the beer taste better
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
