she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
