I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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