Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
