so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
