thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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