i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize