i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am one with the molecules
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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