Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
