Porn is love you can see.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
