I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
