what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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