After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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