He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's get the cat blown out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
