Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
