Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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