Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
