Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize