Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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