problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
