the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
