i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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