I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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