Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
