Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
