I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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