Just fell off a train. Bad.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
