We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
