Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
